We Can't Eat If We Don't Feel Safe - And How Podcasts Can Restore Regulation

The same part of our nervous system that governs our ability to eat in regulated ways is the same part of our nervous system that allows us to socially connect with others.

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By supporting the nervous system to find regulation through human connection, we inherently support the overall workings of the digestive system. If we live alone or don't have access to social interact, podcasts can be an amazing recovery resource.

If our nervous system is in a state of dysregulation and disconnection, our body is In defensive mode. This makes for digesting food challenging.

A lack of safety in the nervous system can show up troubles with digestion, sensory sensitivities, or challenges around detecting fullness or hunger cues, or around food preferences.

And it makes connecting with others challenging too. If we are in defense, we will see those around us as a threat in some way. This can show up as social anxiety, depression, aggression, numb affect, or disassociation when engaging with other people, in intimacy, or in moments of conflict.

When our body is recruited to defend rather than connect, it becomes hard to take in the nourishment of food and of connection - because on a neurological level, they are linked and affect each other.

Eating disorder recovery is the body communicating to us that it is longing for safe connection.

The body is in a defensive state because we haven’t yet landed in the presence of safe and trusted other.

There is a difference between feeling protected and feeling safe.

When we are protected, the danger may be gone but the nervous system is still on the run or ready to fight. When we are safe, the danger is no longer present and we have a safe environment to put down the armour and rest.

For people with eating disorders, they are still in protection mode.

This means that we can approach eating disorder recovery by becoming curious about what is missing within the attachment system, by adding in resources that aid social engagement and connection.

When we feel connected to another, our nervous system can soften in a sense of “I am safe now.”

But what happens if we live alone or don’t have access to regular social interactions? What if we want human connection but don’t feel quite ready to reach out just yet?

This is why listening to a podcast or music whilst eating can be super regulating.

Especially for folks who live alone or who have a lot more time by themselves, eating in silence can be deafening and can increase nervous system activation.

To support the part of our nervous system that helps us connect socially to turn online, we can either be in the presence of another person, but simply hearing the voice and resonance of another can bring us into a more socially connected space.

When we reside in this part of our nervous system we are more regulated, grounded, and present. We are mammals and as such need human connection to both survive and thrive - and it’s in this part of our nervous system where eating disorder behaviours don’t exist (because we feel so much more resourced through co-regulation).

if you find yourself eating alone and reaching for things that have another human talking (podcast, music, TV etc), you are naturally activating the social engagement system that supports your ability to eat.

We can often demonize the use of technology when eating but for some people, it brings greater regulation and more capacity to eat. Asking people to be “mindful” when eating by switching off technology can actually bring dysregulation and ironically less mindfulness!

As the part of the nervous system that governs social connection turns online, our capacity to eat becomes more accessible.

This is because the same part of our nervous system that governs our sense of safety is linked to our ability to resonantly ingest and effectively digest.

Through working with this part of the nervous system, we inherently support the overall workings of the digestive system, which when it returns to a place of regulation, the body’s inner cues (such as fullness, hunger, preference, satisfaction, and need to rest and digest) begin to become clearer.

The more we can bring in connection, love, and community to the eating disorder recovery roadmap, the greater the ability to heal.

This brings greater capacity to the complex process of eating and taking in nourishment - from both food and loving connection.

Photo by Pavel Anoshin on Unsplash